More is more - Why does our mind guide us to hoard and make it difficult to declutter?

I used to be this person for whom more is more of something. Maybe a moment of joy, comfort, security, That Something. I didn't pay attention to this, but I was always going for more of everything. Then it hit me. Why more is more - why does our mind guide us to hoard and make it hard to declutter?

The day came in our home when more stuff meant more to maintain, clean, move, think and worry about. All the negative stuff.

With children came an explosion of stuff, as the home was suddenly filled with things from the past, present and for the future, and lots of unnecessary things from all these categories.

A messy and cluttered home causes stress, anxiety and depression

Especially for me, the mother of the family, the amount of stress also exploded, because there was so much unfinished chores. Worst of all, the large amount of stuff also meant less time for nice things and people I loved.

If only there had been someone to keep me company in the chaos, but I didn't dare to ask anyone. So I moved our things around alone and tried to survive with the baby under my arm.

Oh dear, how did nice shopping turn into nightmare?

Five proven good reasons to start reducing the amount of stuff in your home

Redeem your home back up one item at a time

Learning to master decluttering and organising skills and taking control of the household inventory is worthwhile for many reasons: it is a healthy act that has a direct impact on the well-being of the whole family, both mentally and physically. There is already plenty of scientific evidence on this from a wide range of disciplines.

But we humans have a real need to get stuff and it's hard for us to give it up. Taking over a home is therefore a decluttering and organising project first, followed by the establishment of maintenance systems and routines. In general, the consumption habits of the whole family should also be carefully considered.

Organising a home is first and foremost a process that also involves confronting oneself, one's values, needs and desires. Chaos in the home does not happen overnight, but is often the result of conflict, mismatch or traumatic events.

The repair process takes time and must be done step by step. At some point, you'll find that your nose is on the surface and you no longer feel like you're drowning in the clutter of your home.

Giving up stuff means freedom and time for the things that matter

What do I want to spend my time on? Will I get back those moments when I put 200 pairs of children's clothes in storage only to discover in a couple of years that the next child will only need a dozen - and the elastic bands have broken during storage. Ouch. Been there.

Laundry is still the point where we often think that it doesn't make sense to keep doing it day after day. Nowadays, I say to myself out loud on a day like this that it's time to start decluttering.

That alone helps: the need has been identified (less to worry about, thank you!), grace has been given (this is how it is) and a plan of action is in place (stop buying/receiving and declutter).

Buying feels good and marketing knows it

Buying feels good to us. The human brain is driven to shop and rewards "successful" shopping trips with dopamine kicks.

If this idea is new to you, I recommend you check out neuromarketing or read Six substances that will change your life, by David JP Phillips .

For some, the very knowledge that marketing may be using our brains against us and buying us useless stuff is quite liberating. The gamification of shopping has made it more entertaining, but also more addictive.

I'm now very much in the team Less is more when it comes to stuff or things to worry about. I'd rather spend my time with loved ones and enjoying experiences. But that's easier said than done, because getting rid of the old and resisting buying is hard work.

Eight thoughts to help you give up your stuff

Here are eight thoughts I hope you'll find helpful when giving up is a struggle.

Ask yourself:

1. Have I used this for a year and how likely am I to use it in the next year?

Minimalists take this to the extreme - they check belongings at on a monthly basis. So if you haven't used something in a year, you can be pretty sure you can afford to give it up.

2. Do I keep this for my Dream Me

We often keep things and clothes because we hope to use them again or because they have fond memories. When we become mothers, we often find a large number of clothes that we wish we could still use.

However, it's worth being brutally honest here: would the garment still be in fashion if it ever fitted? Would it still be desirable or usable, as, for example, elastane oxidises over the years.

Most importantly, is it taking up space from me in the moment?

3. Does keeping clothes that are too small make me feel lovely, precious and beautiful?

If not, why do I keep them? At worst, every day you are reminded that you should be something other than what you are now.

Perhaps decluttering them would be the kindest thing you've done for yourself in a while.

4. How would I advise myself on this in a year's time?

Sometimes it's easier to let go when you put yourself in the shoes of the future self. The person who has already learned and experienced more. Then you can confidently decide to let go of the stuff.

5. What do I teach my children by example?

I think it's good to think about the example we set for our children and others. Is it one that we would like them to learn from?

Many people will hope that children will learn to consume responsibly, spend their time doing something other than unnecessary household chores and learn to be uncomplicated recyclers. In this case, we should learn these things ourselves, and the rest of the family will follow.

6. What will it cost me both financially and psychologically to keep this?

Many people live in expensive squares, so the price of a high school chemistry textbook or a gift of towels adds up to a hefty sum in storage squares over the years.

What could you get for the same money? Or what could you keep in the space instead? And what price do we pay for stress, anxiety and anger in our relationships, for example?

7. What else can I do with the time I now spend on maintaining and managing all the stuff?

If you cut back on managing, tidying, organising or cleaning by a third, what could you do with the time you have?

Many would have time to rest, play sports, meet friends or read a book. The very things we dream about and find energising.

8. Could I give up an unnecessary gift?

Gifts do not have to be kept. The joy of giving and receiving was given to the giver and for you when the gift was given. It has therefore fulfilled its purpose.

The giver is unlikely to want you to feel burdened by the gift. So you can give up unnecessary gifts.

I hope this article gave you food for thought about why more is more - why our minds guide us to hoard and make it difficult to declutter? With these eight tips, you can make a difference in your home and your daily life with conscious, regular actions.

Grace and gentleness in your decluttering process!