Five thoughts that have changed my relationship with goods

I believe in Paying it forward. This applies both to things you don't need and to the enlightening thoughts that one has found. In this article, I present five thoughts that have changed my relationship with possessions. There are more brilliant ideas, but when I started out as a professional organiser, these seemed to be the most important ones.

1. Does it spark joy?

A familiar and comforting thought for many from KonMari-method: does the item spark joy? This means that the good adds value to your life and you are happy to take the commitment to the good for the joy it brings.

I think this is a great basic pillar, a yardstick that you can always use. The idea has been criticised for the fact that a shovel or a dustpan doesn't necessarily spark joy, but I think you can look at these as follows: do you feel positive about owning the thing even if you need it once a year, or do you feel negative about owning it, and it takes a lane away from someone else?

The second criticism concerns the working model of the KonMari method, where each top category, such as clothing or tableware, is worked through at once. Not everyone has the opportunity to do this. Personally, I found it easier and more rewarding to declutter by category once the results started to show. You don't have to go through one category in one day, but you can spread it out over a week or two if your schedule allows.

The idea of goods spreading joy was somehow a very shocking one for a person with such a strict Finnish work ethic. Honestly, it hadn't occurred to me, at least not very clearly, that life could be made more sparkling. In many ways, right down to possessions.

2. You don't have to own all this (your stuff)

I heard this from Minimum mom , but originally the idea is from a well-known minimalist Joshua Becker. His minimalist journey started with the question from his neighbour.

Like them, I was positively overwhelmed when I heard this. Exactly! You don't have to, you don't need to.

I think the thought falls into the category of humans as hunter-gatherer, which is one of my favourite themes. Over time, we have specialized in foraging (gathering) food and supplies to help us survive. This was a very wise strategy, but now in cultures of plenty, in Western welfare states, this trait is turning against us.

We really don't have to fetch, maintain or own much of anything, if we look at it purely from a survival perspective. We don't need more than a few hundred objects, everything else is extra and chosen, consciously or not. It is comforting that it is about choices, because by making them I can actively influence my own life. I can choose where I spend my time.

3. Manage your own belongings, not those of others

This idea was perhaps most clearly captured by either Thomas Gordon in Parents Effective Training book or Jesper Juul in Your competent child, both of which deserve strong recommendations for their eye-opening, adult-world-shaking content.

This is also very true for organising: start with your own stuff, show a model, focus on changing your own habits. Others will follow if they are to follow. More liberating and less contentious!

4. Things and habits accumulate

There is no clear single source for this, but there is a lot of talk about it, for example, from habit coaches and positive change facilitators. You can read more about this topic in James Clear's Atomic habits book. This means that even one small change every day can mean around 30 actions (and a new routine) a month, or a healthier life over five years if you're focused on exercise every week. The same goes for stuff: if I keep buying and bringing stuff into my home, it will pile up. I need to either take away at the same rate or reduce my buying.

It sounds simple, but not many of us have the time or the inclination to think about it. Taking responsibility for one's own behaviour is one of the hardest things, in my opinion.

5. I might be wrong

This is perhaps a rather challenging idea in our time, when we spend an awful lot of time trying to appear to be right or experts. My friend recommendated book by Björn Natthiko Lindeblad "I may be wrong" , -which tells the story of a Swedish forest monk.

The idea is very philosophical, but also practical in terms of everyday life: from whose point of view is the home viewed, and who decides what to declutter? There is no one right way, really. The idea is to think about the big picture.

Here are five thoughts that have helped me a lot in changing my relationship with goods and possessions. There have been many other important lessons and good books along the way. These seem relevant in the moment.

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