8 minimalist habits that saved me from everyday chaos

I used to wake up already overwhelmed: small children, messy house, work emails beeping - I felt like I was failing at everything. Eventually, I found these 8 minimalist ways that saved me from everyday chaos. Not overnight, but in small steps.

The last two are my favourites. In this article, I will now share these minimalism rules that have helped me tremendously in my daily life as a working mother of three young children. These rules brought clarity, peace and connection with others to my everyday life. Just what I needed when I was stressed.

You can view this content on YouTube or read this blog article. A link to the English video below.

1. Be present: the 25-1 rule for focusing

Do you ever feel like your brain is juggling with burning swords? This feeling is caused by multitasking - when you try to do (too) many things at once, and everything starts to fall apart. It's the graveyard of all the unfinished tasks.

I did exactly this myself: I tried to write emails, cook and answer the toddler's questions all at the same time. It's not working. Eventually I realised that I wasn't present and I wasn't really doing anything properly anymore. So I started practicing the 25-1 rule.

This rule is inspired by the Pomodoro technique. It helps you focus on one thing at a time - whether it's work, play or decluttering. I set a timer and commit to one task. It's amazing how much you can accomplish when you stop multitasking.

But how do you do this when you have a hundred priorities on the table? How can I choose? I just have to DECIDE to set aside time for one thing. The key is the idea that "I decide". Once a day is enough to start.

You can try focusing on anything, anything is better than nothing, thus you exercise your brain's powers of concentration. I've now made it a habit over the past year to start my morning with my kids by giving us 25 minutes together: phone off, coffee in hand, and I'm present. The kids might whine, want a cuddle or we might play a board game for a while. There is only one rule for a moment: no screens.

After that, we're ready for the day.

I also use this technique at work when I want to concentrate or when I'm coaching on someone else's work: phone and emails off. Few things are so important that they can't wait 25 minutes.

As a result, I feel more in control, less stressed and make more progress. I get space to breathe - in my mind and around me, and an adaptive mindset where I value quality over quantity.

2. One in, One out rule

I used to dread surprise guests - and even more so opening cupboards and drawers in front of them. I was constantly ashamed. I didn't really know what this feeling even was, but it was awful. I wanted to hide. The drawers were overflowing with things I didn't even remember buying.

When I started my experiment with minimalism, I discovered this rule: one in = one out. I can't bring stuff into my home without giving up something else at the same time. There is simply no space (we live in a small home).

Now every purchase feels deliberate.

I keep reminding myself: balance your stuff - I have a limited amount of space, time and energy in my life. I can't live in constant abundance because it will eventually break me and my home.

Every new good means one old one goes. This keeps the chaos in check and makes the buying process more thoughtful. The same goes for everything else, like my calendar.

Before buying, we ask ourselves: do we have the space? What does this replace? That way we can easily see if it's an unnecessary need.

3. The Pareto rule (80/20)

Did you know that 20 % of your actions produce 80 % of results? I used to spend hours on tasks that hardly got me anywhere. I was just overworking myself: washing and folding extra clothes, emptying the dishwasher after I left (endlessly) and searching for lost items. My calendar was full of meetings and tasks that went nowhere.

Eventually I realised that not all effort is equal. Now it feels crazy. It was Pareto's law: 20 % for doing brings 80 % for results.

If only we knew what to focus on? What is that 20 %?

We would achieve more meaningful results. I find this very fascinating. I've always wanted to learn how to optimise, because I also like idleness. I don't want to waste my time. I want to find an optimal way to live.

But it took me forever to figure out the 80/20 rule: do less, make more of an impact (as long as you do the right, meaningful things). I now always try to focus on the 20% that gets me 80 of the % results.

It's difficult, but I'm making progress. I have now identified the tasks that are important to me, such as being present with my children, having focused and planned work periods to juggle two jobs and planning exercise.

I let go of the rest, especially the unnecessary.

4. Things get better by waiting

I am a fast person. That was my thing. Impulse buying and living by my impulses was my weakness. Then I finally realized and learned this minimalist rule: wait.

You can laugh - I think it's hilarious too. That someone thinks that speed is king, really? But back then I was living with this idea, and waiting was new to me.

Now I think before I act: do I really want this? If so, I'll wait. I will wait 30 days before buying any essentials.

I'll add the goods to my wish list, but not to my shopping cart. Most of the time I forget about them. The ones I remember - I don't really miss them either. If something really sticks in my mind, I can buy it with confidence.

A break brings less regret, more savings and purchases that really matter. This also works with the calendar. So: wait a minute.

5. Five-minute update

Remember when I was afraid of surprise guests? This rule is related to that. I used to think it took an hour to clean up - but five minutes is just fine. Small time, big impact.

Quick clean-ups during the day keep things tidy. I set a timer, clean one area and move on. A home can be maintained in five-minute cycles.

We also do this together as a family, and it prevents chaos from building up.

But here's the catch: this wouldn't be possible if I still owned all the stuff I used to own.

After three big qualifying rounds, we finally feel like we have the right amount of stuff in our home. Now I welcome guests. I know that our home is always five minutes away from tidy - and I'm no longer ashamed. Keeping our home manageable has a huge impact on our overall state of mind.

6. Home for all rule

Have you ever noticed that things pile up if they don't have their own place? That's exactly what happened to us, everything was piling up until we made a rule: If it doesn't have a home, it doesn't belong in our home..

I don't remember where I first heard this idea - maybe from Marie Kondoor Gabe Bult. I also love the idea that this mindset is spreading and normalising physical boundaries for stuff: everything has to have its own place. It's about respect - for us as people and for things. If stuff doesn't have a home, we don't have a place for it.

Now we have labelled boxes, categorised areas for things, and have taught ourselves and our children where things belong. Now cleaning is quicker, things don't get lost, and we can easily see if someone doesn't have a home. Then it's time for action: will the home be found, or will the stuff go?

With everything in its place, you can finally own your own home: less clutter, less stress and a home that works.

7. You don't have to own it all: the zero rule

It's time for my favourite rules. The first is shockingly simple - but it took me 35 years to figure it out.

It's called the Zero Rule. 

I used to keep dozens of small plastic boxes in my kitchen. Why? Because I thought I might need them one day. The zero rule finally changed that.

It was shocking to hear this: "You don't have to own all of this."  This was said by the neighbor of the famous minimalist Joshua Becker , before he started his minimalist life. He was taking inventory of his garage, and the neighbor stated the obvious.

I have found Joshua from Dawn, the Minimal Mom, and it was their inspiration for this rule that opened my eyes. I realised that I can choose - I can choose not to own, and everything will still be fine.

I started asking: "What can I do with the time I'm now spending on this stuff?" If the answer was: "Something more important" - and often it was - it was easy to let go. Running around with stuff was simply not worth my time.

When I let go, I felt a change: peace of mind, clarity, a sense of time, energy. Everything started to flow. When the excess stuff left, so did the stress, anxiety and discouraging thoughts.

My other favourite rule is this:

8. Home Evening Reset

Mornings used to be chaos in our house. Socks lost, homework undone, and breakfast cereal knocked over in a fuss - total chaos and mayhem, as only a family in peak season can be.

Then I realised that the key to getting things done wasn't in the morning (wake up earlier, try harder?), but the secret was in the day before. I realised that ”Tomorrow starts today”.

I start preparing for the next day even before I leave work. I check my calendar and take five minutes to get ready. When I get home, I put my work stuff away immediately, empty my bags and remind the kids to empty theirs.

We clean up after dinner, collect the toys and follow our rule: nothing does not sleep on the floor.
I check my to-do list and prepare for the next day, in case I forgot something.

As a result, we wake up in a peaceful home and enjoy being together as a family from the morning.

These rules may sound obvious and easy, but sometimes they can be difficult to implement. I know, I remember how difficult it all used to be. It even seemed impossible to make it all work. That's why I want to share these ideas and my ways with you. These rules not only cleared my home, but they cleared my mind. They gave me space to breathe, to connect and to grow. In the end, I cleared my own home. I hope you find these worth trying in your home too.

Share this article with someone who needs more time and space in their everyday life!